In the podcast, “A Little bit of Optimism”, Simon Sinek says that he always found that the best advise usually comes from really old people and the very young. That got me thinking on my own experiences – when was the last time I sought advice and who did I approach? I am the kind of person who will think through everything in great detail before I approach anyone for advice. If it were a game of “America Says'”, I would bet on advice on the best stocks to buy as one of the most common questions asked of others. I have not asked that specific question of anyone, instead relying on my own research through books and online articles. I have, however, asked for advice on a more high-level question. On my wife’s side, they follow a spiritual guru, who is now in his 70s. He has always been easily approachable and very kind to my wife and us. It was him that I turned to, when I was seeking advice on a decision that we needed to make for the family.
I have always believed that decisions are ultimately made by us as individuals. Others may provide their opinions/ thoughts/ advice, but the action taken is only our own. No one else is responsible for the results once the decision is made and the action taken.
As for giving advice, anyone who watches sport would have the best opinions for any sportsman. “He should have…”, “She should be…”. If one were to meet the said sportsman in a social gathering, the interaction would begin with, “You should have…”. Many of us have uncles and aunts who are free with their advice. My former boss said it best: “Opinions are like assholes – everyone has one and most of them stink”. Opinions that are shared are unsolicited advice.
Is it true that really old people provide the best advice? If life is a sum total of one’s experiences, then they have experiences galore to draw from. At that age, it is likely that they are able to drill down on what is most important. Kids, on the other hand, are clear in their thoughts. They are not swayed by the person asking the question and simply state what they have learnt and know to be “obvious”. My 11 year old has always had the most honest feedback to both me and my wife. No frills attached and simply stating a fact. Kids are also brave in asking the questions that as adults, we are hesitant to ask of others. It can be embarrassing for the parents at times, but not for the kids asking the question. That comes from the purity of heart, which is polluted in us adults.
When I am asked for advice, I tend to fall back on my own experiences and simply state my story. Something worked for me or did not work for me. It is up to the person to make what they will of it. I do my best to refrain from saying, “You should…”. I frame the sentence as, “I did…”, or, “I do…, so you can also…”.
What do you think? Do you seek advice? Who do you approach for advice? How do you provide guidance to those that approach you?
Mithun's Musings 