There are usually different stages when meeting with strangers/ colleagues, who you may want to become more familiar with. In the initial stage, you are likely to keep things formal and keep the conversation to neutral topics such as sports, weather, work, travel, etc. As you become more familiar with the person, you can become a little more personal. You may ask about the family and one of the questions that I have been asked, have heard asked and have been guilty of asking myself, is: “Does your wife work?”
There are nuances to every relationship and there may be occasions where it is inappropriate to even bring in the family into a conversation with a colleague. Nevertheless, if there is a degree of familiarity with the person, it does come up. When it does, I have only recently realised that it is completely unfair to even ask such a question – “does a person work?” My mother worked as hard as anyone in taking care of the family. She was not paid for it. So if someone were to have asked my father if his wife worked, his response would have been “No”, which is completely incorrect. For those who work incredibly hard at home to ensure the kid(s) are well taken care of, attend school, after-school classes, perform the innumerable household chores and in some cases, care for their parents and in-laws as well, does that not qualify as work? It is grossly unfair to treat them any less than any other person employed by an organisation or an entrepreneur.
The right question to ask, if one must, is something on the lines of: “What does your spouse do?” Keeping the question open-ended is the best way to know more about the person and their familial background, which is what makes them who or what they are. The time of the saying, “Behind every successful man is a woman” has passed. If the man does have a wife and is considered successful, then the wife is not behind him. The success as it were, is theirs to share.
The next time someone asks you the question, “Does your wife work?”. Simply say Yes!
Mithun's Musings 